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How to Explain Adoption to Family and Friends

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Just as it is important to disclose the matter of adoption to the child in a phase-wise and proper manner, it is equally important to talk about adoption to friends and family members. Since such individuals would be closely associated with the family, they need to know about the adoption procedure as well as other aspects involved.

Step 1: Correcting Misinformation

Often, the wrong kind of information can cause a friend or relative to comment on how someone can give away their child. These issues are sensitive and need to be discussed with great care. Therefore, it is important to educate friends and family members about how the adoption happened, what were the reasons the birthmother relinquished rights to her child or how not to discuss such issues in front of the child. It is important that friends and family members learn to be more mature about the subject and not pass shallow judgments.

Step 2: The Child's Privacy

In undertaking the process of how to explain adoption to family and friends, it is crucial to respect the adopted child's privacy. Since this is essentially their story, they have a right to determine which friends or family members should know about how they were adopted. There is also a practical aspect to this because the last thing an adopted child needs is to find out from a third person that they were adopted instead of finding out from their own family.

Step 3: Formal Approach

Sometimes, adoptive parents might choose to disclose the adoption details to family members or friends by means of a formal letter. All details are shared in the letter such as the kind of adoption terminology they would prefer, information on the process of adoption, as well as specific cultural insights that would aid in understanding the adoption process better.

Step 4: Explaining to Biological Children

If a couple already has one or more biological children and are looking to adopt, they need to explain adoption to their own children in a pragmatic manner. Biological children might feel slighted and even dislike the adopted child if they begin to feel that they were inadequate and so their parents had to have another child. Instead, it is always best to be honest to the biological children.

The reasons could be many - if all the biological children were boys, then adopting a girl child would make perfect sense. Perhaps the parents wanted to reach out and help a child who needed a family or maybe the mother cannot have any more children and so the couple decided to adopt a child. Whatever be the reason, it is important to be honest about it with the children to avoid complications in future.

A Crucial Step

Learning how to explain adoption to family and friends is a crucial and important step in helping to make a seamless transition for the adopted child. With a supportive, accepting and loving environment within and outside the immediate family, the child will grow into an emotionally healthy individual.